It’s Time to Ban Halloween…

Hi Class! Can you make a convincing argument? Can you support a position with several reasons? Can you link your ideas with transition words and phrases?

Your writing task is to choose one of the statements below and state your views in a convincing paragraph. Your paragraph is due before Halloween (October 31). Here are the choices:

  • Trick or treating must be banned because it promotes poor eating habits.
  • Fireworks must be banned because they are dangerous.
  • All Halloween costumes must be made from recyclable material rather than harmful plastics.
  • Trick or treating is limited to children under the age of ten because older children scare younger children.

Here’s a clever way to learn about using transitions:

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106 Responses to It’s Time to Ban Halloween…

  1. Keighan says:

    why do we need to ban haloween ?

  2. Seth says:

    I think kids under the age of ten should be aloud because they wouldn’t have any fun. It also isn’t fair because every one else would get candy and they wouldn’t. And not every one tries to scare little kids.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your remarks Seth. Your first sentence introduces your big idea about fun – good job! Do all of your supporting details relate to the big idea?

      Suggestions:
      – Take ‘I think’ out of your first sentence.
      – Review the topic you have chosen as it mentions that kids under 10 are allowed to trick or treat while kids over 10 are not.
      – Rework your writing to include transition words (first, in addition, furthermore, therefore, finally, in conclusion…), then repost your convincing paragraph.

      Quick Fix:
      – what is the difference between ‘aloud’ and ‘allowed’?

  3. Mariah says:

    Fireworks should not be banned because they are a great activity to do on Halloween. Fireworks are also fun and look cool! Fireworks are sometimes a family tradition.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Mariah. Notice all your sentences begin the same way: Fireworks… Please rework your paragraph and vary your sentence structures. In addition, your opinion that fireworks are a great activity needs strengthening. Be convincing! Finally, you must use transition words in your writing to make your paragraph read smoothly.

      • Mariah says:

        Fireworks should not be banned first of all they are a great activity to do on Halloween they are also fun and look cool! second reason Fireworks are sometimes a family tradition and should be the family s decision if they would like to have Fireworks or not.

        • Mr. Bell says:

          Thanks for your thoughts Mariah. Currently you have only two sentences and this is insufficient. You present a strong opening sentence, but need to take out the phrase ‘first of all’. The next step is to link this great, fun and cool activity to the family traditions. Afterwards, connect the family’s decision making to your big idea. Lastly, end your paragraph with a strong conclusion, leaving the reader convinced that your views are the right ones. Please rework and repost your paragraph.

  4. matthew says:

    I think they should ban candy for children under the age of 10 because they do not know how to control there candy intake. Children above the age of 10 should be aloud to go out trick or treating because they can control how much candy they want and if there parents are not with trick or treating they can say something like “You can go to this many houses” or “You have to stay around this area.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Matthew, but it appears you have combined the topics. Are you talking about poor eating habits or age limits? Please rework your paragraph and include transition words to connect your sentences, then repost your paragraph.

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between their/there/they’re?

  5. serena says:

    All Halloween costumes must be made with recyclable materials and not harmful plastics because they can hurt the animals and the environment. When it hurts the environment it can effect us and when we make costumes recyclable we can save the environment.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your thoughts Serena. You mention the environment and animals, but do not support it with convincing reasons. Please rework and resubmit your paragraph and be sure to include transition words between sentences.

      • serena says:

        All Halloween costumes must be made with recyclable materials instead of harmful plastic because you could use them again and not just throw them out. You could also make a new costume instead of going out and having to by a new one. Plus it could also help the environment. It would save you money so you could save up for more things instead of just going and spending it on Halloween costumes. When you do this it helps the animals and plants more and when they benefit so do you. It’s not like you won’t have any costumes and they could be lighter instead of wearing all that heavy plastic and you won’t sweat as much.

        • Mr. Bell says:

          You make many good points on your topic Serena – well done! You’ve used a few transitions, however more are needed. Lastly, your paragraph needs a strong conclusion related to the big idea. You mention sweating in your last sentence, and this does not relate to your first sentence very well.

    • gurisha says:

      Thats a really good reason Serena, I agree

  6. gurisha says:

    I strongly disagree with the idea of limiting trick or treating to only kids under 10. the reason is because kids like me, don’t like to scare little kids. I mean there may be people that want to scare them, but trust me there a probably more kids that don’t. I like to be funny on Halloween rather than being scary. I’M BEING A HOT DOG, I really don’t think it’s scary. It’s very unfair to the kids who are older than 10, because we have our wants and needs (which is candy, of course) and anyways who even BUYS candy these days!? Parents hate buying candy and kids hate begging parents for candy in grocery stores. So why not have for free and have fun dressing up! 🙂

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Gurisha, you’ve made some insightful comments. Revise your paragraph to eliminate ‘I’ statements and ‘my opinion’ because we know you are the author speaking. Make a strong opening statement: “Limiting trick or treating to kids under ten is ______!” Once this is done, repost your work.

      • Gurisha says:

        Re-Post

        Trick or treating should not be limited to kids under 10!! Kids like me, don’t like to scare little kids, there may be people that want to scare them, but trust me there a probably more kids that don’t!Furthermore, I like to be funny on Halloween rather than being scary. I am being a hot dog, I really don’t think it’s scary. It’s very unfair to the kids who are older than 10, because we have our wants and needs (which is candy, of course) and anyways who even BUYS candy these days!? Parents hate buying candy and kids hate begging parents for candy in grocery stores. So why not have for free and have fun dressing up! To totally eliminate this whole topic is if kids are scared then go with a parent or another close relative! Finally, Halloween is for everyone, because ain’t nobody got time for banning Halloween, unless your a soul less potato!

        • Mr. Bell says:

          Good improvements Gurisha – your opening sentence is stronger and your details are connected with some transitions.

          You are the author, so there is know need to include I statements. (Notice how this reply does not include I statements because you know who the author is.) Go back and try to remove all I statements. No doubt, it is challenging to write without I statements, but your response will be more convincing if you can eliminate them.

          Finally, look at your concluding lines beginning with, “So why not…” and make your points clearly without using slang (ain’t).

          • gurisha says:

            RE-RE POST

            Trick or treating should not be limited to kids under 10!! Kids like me, don’t like to scare little kids, there may be people that want to scare them, but trust me there a probably more kids that don’t!Furthermore, a lot of people like to be funny on Halloween rather than being scary. It’s very unfair to the kids who are older than 10, because we have our wants and needs (which is candy, of course) and anyways who even BUYS candy these days!? Parents hate buying candy and kids hate begging parents for candy in grocery stores. So why not have for free and have fun dressing up! To totally eliminate this whole topic is if kids are scared then go with a parent or another close relative! Finally, Halloween is for everyone, banning Halloween…even thinking about banning Halloween makes me think, who is this crazy person that is thinking about this egregious topic!

            I hope I don’t have to do a re- re- re -post…

            • Mr. Bell says:

              This is your best writing yet Gurisha – well done! Keep in mind the improvements you’ve made next time you are writing, and start from that point. You will be writing more that an single, convincing paragraph in grade 8!

  7. Madison says:

    Fire works should ban to bot on Halloween because they are highly dangerous when used in the hands of teens and per teens. If they are to be sold it must only be to sober adults and the authorities.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your thoughts Madison. You need to develop your argument with more details and convincing reasons why fireworks should be banned. In addition, you are expected to use transition words in your paragraph to improve the flow of your writing. Please rework and resubmit your paragraph.

  8. Cale says:

    Kids over ten should be able to trick or treat on Halloween, how ever kids under ten should be accompanied by a parent/legal guardian. Halloween is a once a year thing, we should embrace it as much as we can.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Cale. Take a moment to reread the criteria for this writing activity. In reworking your post, provide more reasons why kids over ten should be allowed to trick or treat. Finally, use transition words to connect your sentences before reposting your paragraph.

  9. Matthew E says:

    I do not want people to ban Halloween because its nice seeing every one dress up it would be terrible to get rid of Halloween because so many people would be angry and disappointed especially Little kids they would be Sad

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Matthew. Please reread the criteria for this activity, rework your writing (into a paragraph with sentences and transitions), then repost your work.

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between it’s and its?

  10. Trey says:

    Trick or treating should not be limited to kids under ten cause then the older kids wouldn’t have that extra free time. Also the younger kids go out a lot earlier than the big kids furthermore some of the older kids need service hours so some of them collect cans of non-perishables for we scare hunger.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Trey. You’ve used some good transition words, however your argument is unclear. If the older kids were not trick or treating, wouldn’t they have free time? Is your big idea about free time or service hours? Rework your argument with a big ideas and support it with details. Keep using the transition words!

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between ’cause’ and ‘because’?

  11. sydney says:

    Trick or treating should be banned because it promotes poor eating habits. Banning trick or treating would make things a lot easier. Kids eat way to much candy and they always end up with a rotten tooth or an upset stomach. Kids always go trick or treating the night before school the next day everybody always eats way to much candy. Teachers alway find that kids are tired the next day and most people are asking teachers to go home because they are not feeling good. Eating to much candy anyways is not good for your health it could root your intestines and that would not make you or anybody very happy. Furthermore your teeth, usually kids always miss places in there well brushing talk about major build up of cavities. Further your parents do not want to paying an immense amount of money for dental work That is why banning Halloween would not promote poor eating habits.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Sydney, you’ve supported your argument with many convincing reasons. Now, take the time to add more transition words to link your sentences. Though you have used ‘furthermore’ once, you can certainly add some transitions in other parts of your response. Here’s a link for some useful transitions. Once you’ve added some more transitions, repost your response.

    • sydney says:

      Trick or treating should be banned because it promotes poor eating habits. Banning trick or treating would make things a lot easier. Kids always eat way to much candy and they always end up with a rotten tooth or an upset stomach. Kids always go trick or treating the night before school the next day everybody always eats way to much candy.Secondly Teachers alway find that kids are tired the next day and most people are asking teachers to go home because they are not feeling good. Further Eating to much candy anyways is not good for your health it could root your intestines and that would not make you or anybody very happy. Furthermore your teeth, usually kids always miss places in there well brushing talk about major build up of cavities.Lastly your parents do not want to paying an immense amount of money for dental work. That is why banning Halloween would not promote poor eating habits.

      • Mr. Bell says:

        Good opening Sydney. You mention that things would be easier; this would be a perfect place to use transitions (Banning trick or treating would makes things a lot easier for several reasons. First, ______.

        Look at your sentence pattern. Several sentences begin Kids/Teachers always_____________. What other ways can your write this?

        Finally,
        Quick Fix:
        – What are the differences between too, to and two?

    • Gabrielle says:

      Read mine Sydney. I’m against you.

  12. Sam says:

    The fact that Halloween should be be banned is BOGUS.
    I believe that many kids all over the world would support my reasoning because;
    First of all, trick or treating is a once and a year thing and kids should use this to their advantage to
    embrace gluttony, and pig out for a day! Second; not just kids should trick or treat, babies, adults, teens, and seniors should to! Third; We need Halloween as an event, WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE WITHOUT HALLOWEEN! Finally; Give candy to the poor, it would help cure world hunger! Are you hearing this? Halloween could save the world! Furthermore we need Halloween to stay! WHO’s
    WITH ME???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Sam. You’ve used many transition words effectively. However, your final thoughts are confusing because you use ‘finally’ then ‘furthermore’. Use ‘finally’ to sum up your paragraph and ‘furthermore’ to add another detail or argument.

      Your audience is your teacher and classmates and requires more formal writing. Avoid ALL CAPS, use and exclamation mark instead! Additionally, putting many question marks in your response is not necessary. Rework your paragraph and repost it.

  13. Garet says:

    Trick or treating should not be banned for people over 10 years of age because some people put lots of time in there costumes and want to go trick or treating. If you are worried about people over the age of 10 you could make it so people under the age of 10 should be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian. Maybe they could deploy officers to catch any people trying to egg houses. All age groups should be allowed from baby to elderly people to go trick or treating. Halloween trick or treating is a tradition for many people if it is stopped people would probably attack the government. By Garet

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Garet. How does the amount of time spent on a costume relate to the topic? Clarify your BIG IDEA for your paragraph so that your reasons make convincing connections. Is age the issue or the time one spends preparing a costume. Lastly, please rework your writing to include transition words in your sentences, and repost your paragraph.

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between their, there and they’re?

  14. Asia says:

    Kids over the age of 10 should still be allowed to trick or treat because trick or treating is fun for all ages so the older kids would be so bored and upset on Halloween if they aren’t able to trick or treat.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Asia. Reread the criteria and resubmit your post. More than one sentence is expected for this activity. Consider what your BIG IDEA is: trick or treating is fun. Now. give several reasons or ideas to support this thought. Finally, use transition words between sentences to create a fluid, powerful paragraph.

  15. aliya says:

    you should ban Halloween because of many reasons, it is to much candy for most children young and older because many kids have eating problems or don’t limit themselves of how much they eat and . also there are many over weight children now in 2013. finally people are always telling children not to knock on strangers doors but on Halloween your allowed so it could be dangerous and expensive for many people!

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Great points Aliya, but you’ve drifted from the topic of poor eating habits to stranger danger. You have some good transitions, but need to add more reasons to the topic you started. Please repost your work with more arguments related to poor eating habits.

      Quick Fix:
      – Begin sentences with capital letters.
      – Use ‘too’ when saying a lot (too much candy).

  16. Brendan R. says:

    Trick or treating should not be limited for children only 10 and younger.First of all older kids do not scare kids most of the time.Plus some older children try to help other kids in developing country by getting nonperishable food items.Also the younger kids don’t always stay out so late and the older ones stay and go out really late.Therefore Halloween should not be restricted to children 10 or younger.

  17. Keighan says:

    but Halloween is once in a year life time apratonety!

  18. Gabrielle says:

    Banning Halloween because of poor eating habits is a horrifying idea because it’s once a year. Parents can decide for their own kids to go trick or treating or not. It’s one night to get free candy and dress up in costumes. The parents can limit to the kids candy if they want. All of this should be up to the parents.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Gabby. Your first sentence is terrific! Please add some transition words to improve the flow of your writing and repost your work.

      • Gabrielle says:

        First off, banning Halloween because of poor eating habits is a horrifying idea because it’s once a year. Second, parents can decide for their own kids to go trick or treating or not. It’s one night to get free candy and dress up in costumes.Third, the parents can limit to the kids candy if they want.Finally, all of this should be up to the parents actually.

        • Mr. Bell says:

          Thanks for your response Gabby! You’ve made some good points to convince others and have connected them with some transition words. However, your final thought changes your argument, and all of the reason provided earlier have no point. Write an ending to your paragraph that sums up your ideas and leaves the reader convinced about your position on the issue. Please repost your paragraph with a stronger concluding sentence.

          Quick Fix:
          – Add a space after a comma, period, question mark, and exclamation mark. It spaces the words out and is easier to read.

  19. Austin says:

    I disagree about kids under 10 trick or treating because just because there little they get to go out have fun and get candy. We are older but we still like to eat candy and have fun with our friends and if little kids or parents have a problem with it well to bad also kids under should not 10 years old should not be out past 7:00 to 7:15 it gets really dark out at 6:30 and is very dangerous.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Austin. You have some useful ideas, but need to connect them more clearly to your main idea. First, make a stronger opening statement. You are the author, so there is no need for ‘I’ statements. Secondly, what are your supporting details related to have fun and eating candy? Your reasons do not connect to a big idea. Finally, use transition words to improve the readability of your paragraph.

      Please rework and repost your paragraph.

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between there/their/they’re?

  20. Keighan says:

    Halloween only comes once a year thats why we shouldn’t ban Halloween!

    • Keighan says:

      HALLOWEEN ONLY COES ONCE A YEAR THATS WHY WE SHOULDN’T BAN HALLOWEEN!EVERY YEAR KIDS HAVE A CHANCE TO EAT FRUTE &VEGGIES FOR 12MONTHS-1DAY! P s i am not shouting

      • Mr. Bell says:

        Thanks Keighan for your post. You make a good point that it is one day out of 365. What other reasons can you share to support your argument? Your goal is to write a paragraph with several reasons to support your idea. Please add some other thoughts and repost your paragraph.

        Quick Fix:
        – goes (not coes)
        – that + is = that’s

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Your goal Keighan is to write a convincing argument. Support your opinion with reasons.

  21. Asia says:

    Kids must still be able to trick or treat over the age of 10, it is unreasonable for kids not to be able to trick or treat. Kids over the age of 10 love candy just as much as the more little kids so it is just wrong to ban older kids from going out and having fun and getting free candy on Halloween, also kids over the age of 10 will feel left out staying at home while other kids are having so much fun and tons of candy. Trick or treating is possibly the most fun thing a kid can do on Halloween and millions of kids wait for that day to come all year! You can’t just tell them they aren’t allowed to trick or treat, that would be like telling them they can’t have fun!

    • Mr. Bell says:

      You make convincing points Asia – well done! The last part of your opening sentence would be a stronger starting point: It is unreasonable for kids not to trick or treat. First,_________.

      Your transitions are limited. How can you connect your sentences with transition words?

      What other words for ‘kids’ do you know? Try to use a variety of words when possible.

  22. matthew says:

    Children above the age of 10 must be aloud to go out trick or treating because the children can control how much candy they want furthermore it is their fault if they get sick because they eat to much. Halloween is a great holiday furthermore it is only one night a year so the candy intake will not do that much to the childrens health.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Matthew. Your opening statement is effective until you add the second idea (furthermore it is…). Save that detail for another sentence. You appear to change from your big idea about controlling candy intake to something about a great tradition. Provide supporting details for your big idea. Please put some more work into your paragraph and repost it.

      What other transitions can be used in place of ‘furthermore’?

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between aloud and allowed?
      – health belonging to children = children’s health (children never has an ‘s’ on the end of is unless there is an apostrophe)

  23. Madison says:

    Fire works should be banned on Halloween because there is a massive amount of citizens who like to light fireworks while they are drunk this cause harm to them selfs and others around them.Fireworks have bin know to cause many injuries to children,teens and drunk adults if fireworks are not banned on Halloween imagine almost all the rooms in the hospital will be filled and no room for others being harmed so please ban fireworks on Halloween.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your thoughts Madison. Your big idea is confusing. Are fireworks unsafe, or intoxicated firework users? Clarify your big idea, then connect supporting details to it. You mention that fireworks have been known to cause many injuries. What proof do you have? Is there a link you can include in your paragraph for people to read?

      Quick Fix:
      – Improve your work with punctuation. Currently, you have several ideas that are squished into run on sentences. Where can you put breaks?
      – been (not bin)
      – When typing, a space is added after punctuation. This makes the text easier to read.

  24. Garet says:

    Trick or treating should not be banned for people over 10 years of age because some people put lots of time in there costumes. Certain people even put months of work on there costumes. If you are worried about people over the age of 10 you could make it so people under the age of 10 should be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian. Another thing there could be officers to patrol around and catch any people trying to egg houses. All age groups should be allowed from baby to elderly people to go trick or treating. Trick or treating is one of every tradition for many people if it is stopped people would be really angry and probably cause riots. There is no problem about to much candy the child eats also parents or legal gaurdian could make a maximum of how much candy they can eat a day. By Garet

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Good changes Garet! The next work is to decide how your conclusion relates to the topic. You have done well to support your argument about time spent on costumes, then you go off on a tangent about egging houses, traditions, candy and parenting. All of these issues would make for a great essay on Halloween, but are confusing in this activity. Please decide what your big idea is, and link your supporting details to the idea. Save other arguments for another time (or you can post another convincing paragraph if you wish).

      Quick Fix:
      – It appears more practice is needed with their/there/they’re. Click this link for some practice, and apply your new knowledge when you rework and repost your paragraph.

  25. Kiira says:

    Trick or treating is limited to children under the age of ten because older children scare younger children. I agree with this because as you get older it can become more inappropriate. Teens will start wearing inappropriate costumes or just their cloths because all they want out of it is the candy. Halloween is supposed to be a fun time for children. At the age ten is when it should stop. Furthermore People buy candy to give out to children not to have some teenagers come to their door wanting candy. Some teenagers can be rude to younger children and or make fun of their costumes.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks Kiira for your insightful post. You build a convincing argument using several reasons. The next step is to include more transitions to link your sentences fluently. You have used ‘furthermore’ in a good spot, what else can you add? Next, your second sentence can be more powerful if you remove the ‘I’ statement: “Older children are inappropriate when trick or treating for several reasons. First,___.” Finally, using the same word in consecutive sentence may make the reading less convincing. What are some other ways to describe questionable clothing? Please rework your response and repost it.

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between cloths and clothes?

  26. Trey says:

    Banning Halloween because of older kids scaring little kids is an extremely low reason. Most little kids have their parents with them so the older kids don’t scare them therefore very few little kids get scared. Also the younger kids go out in the daytime and the older ones go out 6:30 or later furthermore how many little kids are scared per year also its only ONE night per year. Lastly the majority of older kids are really nice to the little kids.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Great transition words Trey! The next skill to add is to put a comma in after some of your transitions: “Also, _________; Furthermore,_____________; Lastly,________________.”

      The phrase ‘extremely low reason’ sounds odd. What other ways can this be said?

      Finally, to really make a convincing paragraph, your last sentence must either summarize your thoughts or leave the reader thinking about your entire argument. What could you write to accomplish this?

  27. mackenzie says:

    Trick or treating must not be banned because you don’t eat it for the hole year also the eating habits don’t get to bad because you get sick after eating to much candy. It also comes once a year and you can control your eating habits. It only happens once a year not every month and your candy will get old your you don’t want it anymore.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Mackenzie! Your opening sentence contains a couple of ideas, which is the main one? From there, you raise some supporting details but overuse the word ‘it’. Review the video in this post to identify some transition words for your writing, then repost your argument.

      Quick Fix:
      – What is the difference between hole/whole?
      – What is the difference between to/too/two?

      • mackenzie says:

        first off trick or treating must not be banned because you don’t eat it for the whole year . Also comes once a year and you can control your eating habits. Its not like your going to eat you whole bag of candy in one night. Lastly Halloween is only once a year not every month and your candy will get old your you don’t want it anymore.

        whole and hole
        A hole is something in the ground that you can dig or it is just there.
        whole is like i ate the whole pie

  28. Alexa says:

    Fireworks must not be banded for Halloween celebrating. Firstly don’t you remember after a cold night of trick or treating, you would sit with a cup of hot chocolate looking at the bright colours fill the sky. It would make you feel special. Secondly kids under the age of 18 must not play or set off fire works for any ocation for safety reasons. Thirdly there would be an amount that you are aloud to set off at one event so that there would not be so much pollution in the air at one time. Furthermore when used well they are a delight to lots of children and adults around the world. Lastly one things that must be changed is at Disneyland and Disneyworld they do fireworks every single night!

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Alexa, you make a clear and strong opening statement. The variety of supporting reasons you make create a convincing argument – well done!

      Quick Fix:
      – banned (not banded)
      – add a comma after some transitions: First,_______. Secondly,_____. Finally,______.
      – What is the difference between aloud/allowed?

  29. Matthew E says:

    People Must not ban Halloween because it is nice seeing every one dress up and Smile with joy also it would be terrible to get rid of Halloween because so many people are going to be angry and disappointed especially Little kids they Will be Sad also It only comes once per year.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Matthew, but it is unclear which of the topics you are taking about. You mention costumes but do not connect your ideas to the topic on recyclable costumes. Reread the topics, then post a convincing response to one of them.

  30. Beau says:

    Fire works should not be banned because first
    of all when families are on vacations such as Disney
    Land its spectacular when you see fire works.
    Secondly when kids are trick or treating and fire works
    go off kids laugh and are excited, but if we were to take that
    away from them kids would be sad and depressed. Another examle
    is the only time fire works are dangoures is when the person useing
    it is not responsible. Finally, people should be free to do what you want to do

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for you post Beau, you have made many convincing arguments and used transition words effectively. The next step is to link your arguments with a strong opening sentence. Look at your conclusion, how can you write something similar for your first sentence? For example, “People must have choice, and this is why it is absurd to ban fireworks!”

      Create a great, powerful opening sentence, and repost your work.

      Finally, avoid using pronouns that refer to no one (if we were to take that away…free to do what you want to do) because this confuses the reader.

      Quick Fix:
      – Add a comma after most transition words: First,_____. Secondly,_______.
      – it + is = it’s (it’s spectacular)
      – fireworks is a compound word (one word)
      – dangerous (not dangoures) – check to see if your spell check is on; you can right-click on the words with red underlining for suggested spelling fixes
      – example (not examle)

      • Alexa says:

        Fireworks must not be banned for Halloween celebrating. Firstly, don’t you remember after a cold night of trick or treating, you would sit with a cup of hot chocolate looking at the bright colours fill the sky. It would make you feel special. Secondly, kids under the age of 18 must not play or set off fire works for any ocation for safety reasons. Thirdly, there would be an amount that you are allowed to set off at one event so that there would not be so much pollution in the air at one time. Furthermore, when used well they are a delight to lots of children and adults around the world. Lastly, one things that must be changed is at Disneyland and Disneyworld they do fireworks every single night!

  31. Sarah says:

    With the idea of limiting trick or treating for children under 10, I strongly disagree. First, it should be allowed for people to just go out and have a good time. Secondly it’s fun being with family and friends while Trick or Treating. Also it is good to have that little bit of childishness in you when you dress up, and further more Halloween is only once a year so it should be allowed to just go out and dress up.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Sarah. You provide many good supporting details and use most transition words effectively. Look at your opening sentence. How can you make a greater impact? First, rather than use an ‘I’ statement, simply state that the topic is good or bad, but use powerful words: Limiting trick or treating to children under 10 is _________!

      Your final supporting detail is in a sentence with your concluding statement. Use separate sentences to make a lasting impression.

      Quick Fix:
      – Though people sometime say, “and furthermore,” when speaking, you only need one of those words.
      – You used a comma after ‘First’ – well done! Now do the same for ‘Second’, ‘Also’, and ‘Furthermore’.

  32. Melissa says:

    Trick-or-treating mustn’t be banned at all, yes it created poor eating habits, yes it also rots our teeth, but we don’t have to ban trick-or-treating one just has to control their intake on the suger and candy, candy does rot ones teeth but that’s what dentists are for. If one is simply scared of the dentist one should not eat candy.
    ~Melissa~

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your post Melissa – it’s great to see some of the skills you learn writing in high school! For example, using ‘one’ instead of he or she – nice work! Be careful not to use a pronoun referring to no one. In this case, who is ‘we’? Instead, state: banning trick or treating is outrageous!

      End your opening statement before you get into yes______. A good transition word to use is granted: Trick-or-treating mustn’t be banned at all! Granted, it contributes to poor eating habits, and rots our teeth…

      Quick Fix:
      – the teeth belonging to someone = one’s teeth
      – Add more punctuation. You have a few ideas that deserve their own sentence.

  33. kiira says:

    Trick or treating is limited to children under the age of ten because older children scare younger children. I agree with this because as you get older it can become more inappropriate. Teens will start wearing inappropriate costumes or just their cloths because all they want out of it is the candy. Halloween is supposed to be a fun time for children. At the age ten is when it should stop. Furthermore People buy candy to give out to children not to have some teenagers come to their door wanting candy. Some teenagers can be rude to younger children and or make fun of their costumes.

  34. Sam says:

    The fact that Halloween should be banned is bogus.
    I believe that many kids all over the world would support my reasoning because;
    First of all, trick or treating is a once and a year thing and kids should use this to their advantage to
    embrace gluttony, and pig out for a day! Second; not just children should trick or treat, babies, adults, teens, and seniors should to! Third; We need Halloween as an event, what if other special events like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter? There would be no enjoyment or special days to look forward to!! Fourth; Give candy to the poor, it would help cure world hunger! Halloween could save the world! Furthermore; Halloween is here to stay and weather adults like it or not, candy, fireworks, costumes, and decorations are gonna keep up the tradition of Halloween!

  35. kiira says:

    Trick or treating is limited to children under the age of ten because older children scare younger children. yes, because as you get older it can become more inappropriate. First, Teens will start wearing inappropriate costumes or just their clothing because all they want out of it is the candy. Second, Halloween is supposed to be a fun time for all little children. Third, At the age ten is when it should stop. Furthermore People buy candy to give out to children not to have some teenagers come to their door wanting candy. Lastly, Some teenagers can be rude to younger children, additionally sometimes they make fun of the younger children’ s costumes.

  36. Gabrielle says:

    First off, banning Halloween because of poor eating habits is a horrifying idea because it’s once a year. Second, parents can decide for their own kids to go trick or treating or not. It’s one night to get free candy and dress up in costumes.Third, the parents can limit to the kids candy if they want. Finally, it’s not like we are going to eat candy for the rest of the year. That’s why you should come to my side. I will give you candy!

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your thoughts Gabby. Your big idea is more powerful if you do not add ‘First off..’ Instead, state: “Banning Halloween because of poor eating habits is a horrifying idea!” Once you have established your main idea, then support it with details.

      You’ve used transitions effectively, well done! Finally, how could your conclusion be more powerful. Right now it is weaker than the rest of your post because you switch from strong reasons to trying to make friends. Remember your job was to be convincing, not feed readers candy.

  37. aliya says:

    First of all I think Halloween should be band because of young and older children can get or have poor eating habits, when kids go out and get as much of candy as they can get and eat it all they gain weight and sometimes get to addicted and eat more than and may not be able to control there eating habits so it could be extremely bad for a child and the child would not be happy with all that weight because it would limit many fun activates so that is one reason why Halloween should be band. secondly I think Halloween should be band because schools and parents have always told children not to take candy from strangers or go up to people we don’t know, know there is a day that you break all rules and you get to be in a lot of danger for many kids.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your thoughts Aliya. You raise some insightful points, but need to edit your work. You’ve done a good job to point out the irony in teaching kids not to take candy from strangers – except on Halloween! Here are some things to consider:

      1) Before you begin with ‘First of all…’ you must state your big idea. Once you have established what stance you are taking on the topic, then you support it with reasons.

      2) Reread your first sentence:

      First of all I think Halloween should be band because of young and older children can get or have poor eating habits, when kids go out and get as much of candy as they can get and eat it all they gain weight and sometimes get to addicted and eat more than and may not be able to control there eating habits so it could be extremely bad for a child and the child would not be happy with all that weight because it would limit many fun activates so that is one reason why Halloween should be band.

      Add punctuation to keep ideas clear.

      Quick Fix:
      – what is the difference between ‘band’ and ‘banned’?

  38. Beau says:

    It is absolutely ridiculous for people not to
    use fireworks on Halloween. First of all, when families
    are on vacation such as Disney Land it’s spectactular
    when you see fireworks. Secondly, when kids are trick
    or treating and fireworks go off kids laugh and are
    excited, but if we were to take that away from them
    kids would be sad and depressed. Another example,
    is the only time fireworks are dangerous is when
    the person using it is not responsible. Finally, people
    should be free to do what they want to do.

  39. Sarah says:

    Trick or treating is limited to children under 10 is a bad idea. First, it should be allowed for people to just go out and have a good time. Secondly, it’s fun being with family and friends while Trick or Treating. Also, it is good to have that little bit of childishness in you when you dress up, and furthermore, Halloween is only once a year so it should be allowed to just go out and dress up.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks Sarah. What big idea can you add to your opening? “Limiting trick or treating to children under 10 is a bad idea because ________________________.”

  40. matthew says:

    Children above the age of 10 must be aloud to go out trick or treating because the children can control how much candy they want also it is their fault if they get sick because they eat to much. Halloween is a great holiday furthermore it is only one night a year so the candy intake will not do that much to the childrens health

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks for your thoughts Matthew. What is the big idea of your paragraph?

      Quick Fixes:
      – aloud vs allowed
      – too vs to vs two
      – children is plural; children’s is possessive; childrens is not a word

  41. KoBeBSH123 says:

    Fireworks shouldn’t be banned because they bring joy to the young such as us. And they could be use of lots of different like birthdays what if people want to celebrate but. And the wanna use fireworks but they can’t because there banned so I think we should keep fireworks because there awesome.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Great opening sentence Kobe! Now, you need to add supporting details about the ways fireworks bring joy.

      Reread your second sentence aloud:

      “And they could be use of lots of different like birthdays what if people want to celebrate but.”

      What are you trying to say? Take some time to revise and repost.

      Quick Fix:
      – ‘Wanna’ is slang. Use ‘want to’ for school writing assignments.

  42. Sarah says:

    Trick or treating is limited to children under 10 is a horrible idea first, it should be allowed for people to just go out and have a good time. Secondly, it’s fun being with family and friends while Trick or Treating. Also, it is good to have that little bit of childishness in you when you dress up, and furthermore, Halloween is only once a year so it should be allowed to just go out and dress up.

  43. Seth says:

    Trick or treating must not be banned!
    First, it is it is the only night of the year that you can dress up in
    costumes and lots of candy. And it your fault if you eat to much
    candy and get sick. Second, it is fun for the little kids to get out
    and dress up and go trick or treating. Lastly, it is good for DPA.

    • Mr. Bell says:

      Thanks Seth, your post suggests many great reasons to keep Halloween! What is your big idea to connect your supporting details: “Trick or treating must not be banned because _________!”

      You’ve used some good transitions to connect your thoughts. Beware of using ‘and’ to begin a sentence. Use ‘In addition” or “Furthermore”.

      Quick Fix:
      – There is a difference between to/too/two. Click the link to learn more.

  44. Seth says:

    Trick or treating must not be banned!
    First, it is the only night of the year that you can dress up in
    costumes and receive lots of candy. And it is your fault if you eat to much
    candy and get sick. Second, it is fun for the little kids to get out
    and dress up and go trick or treating. Lastly, it is good for DPA.

    • Seth says:

      Trick or treating must not be banned because:
      First, it is the only night of the year that you can dress up in
      costumes and receive lots of candy. Furthermore, it is your fault if you eat to much candy and get sick. Second, it is fun for the little kids to get out and dress up and go trick or treating. Lastly, it is good for DPA.

      • Mr. Bell says:

        You’ve got some great supporting details Seth. What is missing is a big idea in your opening sentence to connect all of the supporting details. You big idea is general – don’t be too specific: Halloween must not be banned because it is fun…Banning Halloween is a terrible idea because…

        Another piece to add to your writing is a concluding thought. Rather than end your convincing paragraph with a supporting detail, leave the readers with something to remind them about your entire argument.

  45. matthew says:

    Children above the age of 10 must be allowed to go out trick or treating because the children can control how much candy they want. So it is their fault if they get sick because they eat to much. Halloween is a great holiday furthermore it is only one night a year so the candy intake will not do that much to the children’s health

  46. matthew says:

    Children above the age of 10 must be allowed to go out trick or treating because the children can control how much candy they want. It is their fault if they get sick because they eat to much. Halloween is a great holiday furthermore it is only one night a year so the candy intake will not do that much to the children’s health

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