Hi Class! Put the retelling strategies you have learned into use right now. Retell the events of your morning up until this point. Be descriptive, use an interesting vocabulary, and include important events. A well written post will provide your audience a clear picture of your morning so far.
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I woke up and got dressed, then I had toast and milk for break feast , after that I rode my bike to school.
What I mean is I woke up really happy and hyper,than I went running down the
stairs almost falling down them.My mom made me toast with jam and after that I made my lunch and brushed my teeth,Than I rode my bike to school with Calvin.
The second post is much better. Way to go!
Try to expand you ideas into several sentences.
π
My dad woke me up at 7:00 this morning. I stayed in bed until 7:30 when I looked at my clock. I couldn’t find my shoes, hair brush or anything for that matter. My sister made cheese sandwiches and I got the rest of our lunch ready. Once she found her sweater it was 7:50 and the bus picks us up at 8:10 so we had to run most of the way. We spent about 5 minutes at the bus stop. Every one was already there so we were basically last in line. Then the bus came and picked us up and I sat back as far as I was aloud. When we got to school I went to the doors everybody goes through.
Well written!
Quick Fix: aloud = spoken with a voice for others to hear; allowed = permitted
This morning I woke up ate and I got ready for school at my aunties because I spent the night there!So I went into town with my auntie Scarlet and she dropped me off at my house,then I walked to my bus stop and waited for the bus!!Then me and my friends talked for a while then our bus came and we got on!!!Then we got to school and we waited for the bell to ring,while we waited for the bell to ring my friend Annasaaisha brought a big book out of her bag and we read some of it!!!Finally the bell rang and I went inside and put my stuff away,then I ate a yourgt tube and now I am in the computer lab typing this up!! THE END!! π π
Good details – count how many times you use the word ‘then’ in your story. Can you think of other ways?
Quick Fixes – the house belonging to my auntie = my auntie’s house
I woke up this morning at 6:55 than I got dressed made my lunch Played my Xbox 360 for about 20 minutes than I went to go wait for the bus got on the bus got dropped of at school played outside for a little while came inside went to my classroom got a chair sat down than I got up and went to the computer lab started writing on the computer
You have several good ideas in ONLY ONE SENTENCE…yikes!
Quick Fix: use the word ‘than’ when you are comparing (This is better than that.); use the word ‘then’ when you are giving details in a sequence or an order (First…then…)
That’s a long sentence. π π π :P:C :G
Well, today I woke up at 8:00. Thats because I went to bed at 12:41. Any ways so I woke up, got dressed, brushed my hair, at breakfast and got my dad and mom to drive me to school. Then I came in the school, told Mr.Bell I was late, came in the class and sat down.
Better late than never! π
Quick Fix: That is because…= That’s because
I woke up at 7:15, Had a shower, Got dressed, Went up stairs had to wake my sister up because she slept in, Had breakfast, Got my lunch in my backpack, Brushed my teeth, Started to walk to school, Got to school, Played 4 square, Got bored of 4 square. Went to Mr.Bell and asked him a question, The bell rang, I went in side sat down,Went to the washroom, Got a drink, Sat down, Sang O Canada, Went to the computers, Started block, Thats where I am now.
You have many ideas and few sentences. This is too choppy to read.
Quick Fix: after a comma, you do not capitalize the next word.
I woke up at 5:30 and went back to sleep. I got up at 7:15 had a shower got dressed had breakfast,made my lunch and it was 7:45. I had fifteen minutes left so I picked up my bunny and petted him for fifteen minutes. I found my helmet and packed my bag for school. I biked to Keagans house,picked him up for school we got to school we played grounders. When the bell went we went inside and I listened to the announcements. then we went to the computer lab and I wrote this paragraph π
Great retelling!
Quick Fix: The house belonging to Keagan = Keagan’s house.
Well… I get up at 6:30 and have a shower. At 6:45 I figure out what I’m going to wear. After that I blow dry my hair, Then brush it. At 7:05 I go to the kitchen and make my, “yummy” lunch. Right after I ate breakfast I had delicious oatmeal crunch. I went back to the bathroom and floss and brush my teeth. I went to my room and tidy it up and make my bed. After I go to the dinning room and make sure I have everything for school.I wait for my sisters to be ready. My mom tells me to, “get new water for the dog please” so I did that. My cat started to meow so I gave her a treat and she loved it.Then I have to drop of my sisters and Valley view high school, After My mom has to go take my step-brother to his school Dallas. We go to Tim Horton’s and she gets a coffee then drops me off at school.
Well I got up and ate some tasty cereal. Then I went to brush my teeth. I got dressed after I got my back pack ready after my mom drove me to school. Then I talked to my friends. The bell rang I went in the class after we sang the anthem. Then we came in the computer lab.
Good ideas…look at your post and count the number of times you used the word ‘then’. What are some other ways to transition your story?
I woke up at 7:15, got a drink of water then went back to bed and got up at 7:35. I put waffles in the toaster oven, Then went to the washroom. My waffles were done and i put butter and syrup on them and they were Mmmmm good!!!! Then I took a shower and got dressed. Then I finally found my Ipod after I was looking for it in a total of 30 minutes last night. Then I layed in bed for like 2 minutes and went down stairs to get my shoes on and we got in the truck and drove for 10 minutes. When we got i valleyview we dropped my brother off at the high school and then drove down valleyview dr. and dropped me off at marion Schilling. I went to my locker and put my back pack in then took my binder in the class and I pulled my 2011 guiness world record book out and put it in between keagan’s desk and mine and put my binder in my desk. Then did a little of my spelling then we sung O’canada and then Mr. bell was on the anouncements and we took off to the computer lab and I logged in my account and my computer froze then I logged off and back on and it worked good and I went to our classroom website and lokked at the tax payer canada’s federal debt and then read the thing that Mr. bell posted for us to read and then type about it. And here I am now typing this big long thing about this morning.
Good retelling of your morning! What are other transition words to replace ‘then’?
This morning I woke up, I ate Breakfast I had a cinnamon raisin bagel, I brushed my hair, got changed, and I waited for my brother to get ready, finally we left.
Please write more than a single sentence. You have several sentences worth of ideas.
My morning was very good thank-you . The past few hours have been great for me.
I feel like I want to work today.
That’s great! What were some of the good things this morning?
This morning I woke up from a good dream, to dad’s yelling ….saying ” Get up and don’t make me say it again.”I did not have a good morning(Why would people make such a horrible sentence, saying ”good morning!!!”)=No such thing for me unless it’s the weekend…..BUT anyways,I just brushed my teeth (but after I ate cereal =sugar crisp)got dressed and walked to school.
I have no clue of what you said Myranda.
well today my dad woke me up at 6:30 am which is when I usually get up. I could barely open my eyes though. He had to tell me 3 times to get up because as soon as I opened my eyes they closed again. I got up and headed to the shower, grabbed a towel and went in. I came out and got dressed. After getting dressed I tidied up my room because my parents hate when I leave my bedroom messy. I went to the washroom to brush my hair. It was still kin dove wet. I walked downstairs and had ” Honey Comes Cereal! ” Yummy! I sat down and ate while my mom had tea and my brother just sat there on his ipod. My dad was making lunches while watching the news. I went back upstairs after putting my bowl in the dishwasher. I went back in the bathroom and pulled out my blow dryer. I blow dried it and then brushed my teeth while I had my straightener heating up. As I was brushing my teeth my sister came in and asked me if she could use my headband. “yes,” I said and I went in my room and got the headband from in my closet while I had my toothbrush in my mouth. I gave her the headband and went back in the bathroom. my sister came in again and put the kitty on the counter. I turned on my sisters tap so the kitty could drink some water. She went in the sink and put her paws in it to make sure it was a good temperature. ha ha! I put the toothbrush down and put my hair in a ponytail. I straightened my to little pieces of hair that were sticking out. I grabbed 3 bobby pins and went to the railings at the top of the stairs and yelled, “mom can I wear a pair of your earing?” my mom always says yes. I always ask because I love her earing’s they are so pretty1 I went to her room and grabbed long danglingly earing’s and put them on. I went downstairs and put my bobby pins in and then I grabbed my lunch from off the counter and put it in my backpack that I grabbed quickly from the garage. Then I looked at the time and noticed me and my sister had to go walk to the bus. I said bye to my mom and dad. Me and my sister left for the bus . The whole time walking my sister talked about how cool Disney World and all the rides! We got to the bus stop and Kimberly was there. We talked about soccer and my games. The bus came and me an d Kimberly sat by the back. We talked more about soccer and how funny my teammates were being.when we got off the bus we waited for Ashley and then went to the door closest to the staff room. We waited for the bell to ring and then we went inside and got our binder. I got a chair for my desk. Everyone sang ” Oh Canada.” Now I am here! THE END!
Superb retelling!
Quick Fixes:
kin dove = kind of
the tap belonging to my sister = my sister’s tap
good job though π
Well first I got up half asleep,walked into my bathroom mirror,then I went and got ready to go to school,but I forgot my sweater down in my room so I went to go get it and when I was going down the stairs I tripped and fell all the way down the stairs which was painful. After I stumbled to my feet I went and got my sweater. I almost forgot that I had to go to school so I got a ride and went to class. Afterwards in class everyone had to sing the national anthem. Afterwards everyone went to the computer lab. And thats how my terrible morning started.
Sounds like a rough start to the day, but at least you made it!
Quick Fix: When typing, there is one space after a comma (and other punctuation).
this morning I had woken up and sun had filled my room with light I almost struggled to stay awake but had no need to. I got up and went to the kitchen to make a protein shake for breakfast. Later my mother had told me to chug the rest of the shake. So I felt nauseated after. Afterwords I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth but gagged from my brother not spraying the bathroom with the bathroom spray. In annoyance I lectured my brother to spay the bathroom after he’s finished his business because it stinks and is disgusting. My brother made a terrible excuse saying ”Well I don’t know where it is, it isn’t in the bathroom and I can’t have three hands at once”I replied ”Ryan it’s in on the toilet and it doesn’t take three hands to spray the bathroom on the way out”. It was only a 5 minute argument. I got ready put 5 elastics on my right pant leg to make sure my jeans weren’t ripped on the way to school. From my bike without a replaceable chain guard . I left with my school object’s and travelled to pick up Keagan.I spotted Keagan,Tenile and Calvin in the distance I was 3 minutes late I tried to catch up and made it a quarter and a bit more up the hill.before they went down another hill at school I talked with Keagan and was greeted by Jacob. Jacob and I talked about Lego,Nerf and halo until the bell rang It was a great way to start a day of school. Including that I am felling like this is going to be an good day. π
you spelt Tenille wrong
This morning at 4am I woke up and I was on the black couch because I was watching my dad play “Heavy Rain” at night. Then I got up looked for Kodi (my dog) and called so he would follow me to my bedroom to sleep. Then I fell back asleep , and then , when I my dad woke my up I kept on falling back asleep until he said”Allie Get Up!” Then I got up immediately. I got dressed for school then I went out to the living room and flopped on the couch. I almost fell asleep but then my dog (little pug) jumped up on me and landed right on my stomach , so I didn’t fall asleep but I let out a gasp when Kodi jumped on me. Later in the morning I went in the washroom and did my hair with my hair back and clipped it to stay in place. Afterwards I was sitting on the couch and Caylee was talking to her friend Koleka because Koleka said the she would call her in the morning at 7:35am and then my dad was on the computer looking for a job because he just finished University at the TRU so, he was looking for a job somewhere and called out “You wanna move to Alberta?” and me and Caylee said “No!” and laughed. On the couch a little bit after my dad said Alberta , I was still sitting on the couch playing with the puppies and put at leg warmer on their face and watched them until they got it off. When cupcake (A puppy) had it on her face , she looked like Yoda from” StarWars.” When it was time to go I had to hurry because I forgot to make my lunch then my dad said to me “Why don’t you eat Breakfast” and then laughed. Then we walked to school and on the way there me and Caylee were talking and Kaia my sister way back so we had to wait for her until she caught up to us. We got to school and waited till the doors opened up to get in. When I got inside I got to my locker, got my stuff for school went in the classroom and put my binder on my desk. After I got a chair then went to the washroom to fix my hair because it was falling out of place. Then when I sat down Savannah showed me a bag of her craft things and showed me how to make a crown with pipe cleaners. And listened to Mr.Bell tell us what to o in the Computer Lab for today. While walking Savannah mentioned the spelling sentences and I went back to get the spelling sheet. When I got in the Computer Lab I sat at my computer that we were assigned to and first I was doing my spelling sentences then I started to type “This morning at 4am I woke up and I was on the black couch because I was watching my dad play “Heavy Rain” at night ….. And so on then A while after Mr.Bell told us to look up and showed us how to do the week circles and how to add them all together. And I started to type after he was done explaining what to do and that was when I was typing “Then we walked to school and on the way there me and Caylee were talking and Kaia my sister way back so we had to wait for her until she caught up to us. We got to school and waited till the doors opened up to get in………………………………….. etc and then I was still typing until I was all done.
Wow- that’s a great retelling of your morning!
Quick Fix: What are some other ways to say ‘got’?
I don’t know. Get? Went to? Had to?
This morning my alarm woke me up with some music at 6:20. I got up and took my dog out for about 20 minutes I came back in and headed to the shower. After I was done in the shower I went into my bedroom and got dressed. When I was finished getting dressed my sister asked me if she can borrow my headband I said “no” because I didn’t want her to wreck it, I walked out of the room and went into the bathroom again and did my hair and brushed my teeth. I went out to the kitchen and made my sandwich and packed my lunch. Then I went into my moms bedroom and found a pair of socks I put them on and headed to the living room to put my shoes on. I put my dog into his cage and through some toys in there. Then I pack my sandwich, snacks,binder and my homework. My mom says “Kimberly take Haylee and put her in the truck,” so I go and put her in the truck. I remembered that I left my ipod on my new docking station, I went back into the house and got it then went back into the truck. My mom finally gets into the truck and we head to my sisters daycare we droop her off and head to the bus stop witch is at sun rivers. My mom dropper me off and she went to work. I was still at the bus stop waiting for Rylee and her sister Maddie to come down so wouldn’t be so lonely she finally came down and we started talking about her soccer tournament and what happed then are bus came. So we got on the bus and talked about it on the bus. Rylee and I got off the bus and waited for Ashley to come. She finally came and Rylee Ashley Jonny and me all went to the front doors closest to the staffroom and waited for the bell to ring. The bell rang we came in and put are bags into are locker and came in the classroom and sang O Canada after that we came into the computer lab and started doing this.