Hi Class! Based on the information from our reading this week and your knowledge, should self-driving cars be legalized for use in Canada? Choose a side. Make a decisive opening statement and state your big idea. Support your big idea with several related reasons. Conclude your argument with a powerful thought to give the reader something to consider.
Your paragraph is due October 24 (Wednesday).
Before submitting your post, proofread and edit your writing. Consider the following questions:
- Have you chosen a position on the issue?
- Did you identify your BIG IDEA?
- Do you support your position with related details?
- Are your sentences written clearly and formatted properly?
- Have you used interesting words and varied your sentence patterns?
- Did you use the spell check? (remember a spell checker does not fix typos or misused homophones)
- Does your writing flow smoothly?
Driving cars is going to be the past soon! But how would we get around? We would use electric cars. They can be found with many different ideas inside. They have ones that have a wireless connection to stay together and lots more. The gadgets they have in the cars are GPS ( global positioning satellite) , computers of course because they are operated with them and wireless connection to find other items in the road. We should have theses cars everywhere because then kids can drive to there sports, art classes and other activities. It would be another good thing because none of the people driving would ever crash. If you we’re going on a big trip you could let the car drive it’s self and take a nap, read a book, text or play on your phone. Are you going to buy one if they come to Canada?
Great hook and question to open your response! Then the sentence: ‘We would use electric cars.’ takes away from your strong start. Add some description to the sentence and it will carry on your great opening. Lastly, avoid using the phase ‘and lots more’ when you are writing to persuade; give specific details.
Quick Fix:
– the kids’ sports = their sports
– use ‘itself’ rather than it’s self (remember it’s = it is)
Kelsey just saying there is already driving cars thats what you said driving cars soon to be the past. It already is.
they defiantly are a good idea, especially for drivers that are disabled, think of all the accidents that would be reduced and all the people that won’t have to pay extreme amounts of money for car insurance.
Please review the writing expectations for your paragraph and repost your response. What is your BIG IDEA to connect your supporting details (disabled drivers, accident prevention, lower insurance rates)?
Quick Fix:
– defiantly (base word is defiant); use definitely
Self driving cars would be amazing but they are going to be old soon and new cars will be here. If you have anywhere to go you don’t have to wait for your parents or your ride, to come and get you or drop you off. I would want a self driving car because I love to go places and my parents don’t want to drive always. I love to hang out with friends so I could drive my self.You could always be eating, texting,calling and playing games. Would you buy? one I would.
Your big idea is unclear. Are you taking about how these cars are amazing and new or about being able to travel independently?
Quick Fix:
– remember to add a space after a comma and a period
Self- driving cars is a spectacular idea! Think about it people that are disabled could get places by them selves for once! It would be so much easier for them. The number of accidents that happen a year is just crazy with self- driving cars it would be reduced by a lot. The people that are disabled are probably from being in car accidents! It would be a much safer environment for everyone. It would be even better if they were smart cars to.
You have a great word choice in your opening sentence! The phrase ‘Think about it’ should be a sentence on its own because you want the reader to pause and think.
You focus on two areas: access for people to drive and improved safety. What is your big idea? You could use each idea in separate paragraphs.
Smart cars would be and exciting and excellent idea. Smart cars can decrease our car accidents to a bare minimum. Smart cars are marvellous because kindergartens can drive them selves to school and go where they want to go just imagine you yourself going places that you wanna go without your parents there right beside you wouldn’t that be cool ! I think smart cars are brilliant don’t you ?
You provide several supporting details – what is the one big idea to bring them together (safety, access for kids)?
Quick Fix:
– use ‘want to’ never ‘wanna’
– ‘an’ exciting and excellent idea
whoops I got to remember to never say “wanna” and to remember to use “an” when comparing but it would be cool no ?
– use ‘than’ when comparing
Having self driving cars would be great because people that are blind can drive, and kids can drive to! With self driving cars there would be less people dieing from car accidents and there would be less road ragers because of the road trains. The self driving cars has a lot of potential if the government legalizes it.
You identify several supporting details. What is the big idea to tie them together? Are you talking about improving access to cars for the disabled and young, or about the improved safety features linked to smart cars?
Quick Fix:
– use ‘too’ when you want to say ‘as well’ or ‘also’ (kids can drive too)
There should be aloud in Canada because children could go to anywhere when they want so their parents don’t have to drive them everywhere if they want to go like to a friends house. To the movies or the store to get something for their parents!
Please reread the expectations for this writing activity. What is your big idea? What supporting reasons are there for your big idea? It appears your big idea is, “Smart cars should be allowed in Canada because children will benefit.” Now support your statement with details.
Self driving cars are a mistake. The computer in these cars control everything, heating and cooling, the steering wheel and brakes! So, what happens when a cyber attack or computer virus comes into play? Your life is in danger, your car spins out of control on the highway and CRASH, you better have a will in place. Another problem with these cars are that anyone can drive them. Just imagine a little 5 year old speeding down the highway and 110 miles per hour! Not cool. So, yea or nay?
Superb argument! Your opening statement is clear and strong, and you support it with several relevant reasons. Your rhetorical question about having a will in place is clever!
Quick Fix:
– the expression ‘another problem’ is singular; “Another problem with these cars is…”
I would be a yea on this one because self driving smart cars would help so many people with distillates like that video we saw . And they should be allowed in Canada and other countries.
You scratch the surface with your response. Support your position with evidence and reasons these cars will help people with disabilities.
Nay! Why on earth would people want to risk peoples lives over a new device that people made just to make more money and be remembered as ” People who may be murderess for putting a device in a car that can have a cyber attack!” Like seriously people take a reality check this is life not experimenting on every body’s loved ones. But there are some good things about it like kids won’t need their parents to drive them everywhere and help preventing some accidents. But that does mean more traffic and a lac of laziness too. lastly that means kids would need jobs because how els will kids get money for gas. So may all the smart people know that the driver less car are useless. Thank you for your time.
Wow Emily that is a great idea!
You opening ideas make a great impact, though perhaps they exaggerate slightly. Why do you make arguments for both sides of the debate? Choose a side and stick with it!
Quick Fix:
– avoid starting too many sentences with ‘but’
– when writing for an academic purpose, avoid jargon or phrases that are used in a casual conversation “Like seriously people take a reality check…”
self driving cars would be excellent. If you wanted to get around your parents wouldn’t have to drive you anywhere. Say you wanted to get Black Ops two or Assassin’s Creed 3 you could get it yourself there without any worry. Example, I always have to go to trampoline so I could get in my ca pick up my friends and go.
Your opening statement is too general. State specifically what is ‘excellent’ in your opening (the idea that your parents would no longer have to drive you). What are some other benefits of this freedom. You provide two examples, then stop. Sum up your response with something to leave the reader thinking about the topic.
Quick Fix:
– Begin a sentence with a capital letter.
Yea they should because then if you want to go somewhere you can just go right away then waiting for someone to drive you. You wouldn’t get to go right away you have to wait in till your mom or dad drives you and that would take all day. Plus you can drive your self to school and other places you want not staying home all day.
How can you group your details into a big idea? Your thoughts touch on the topic of controlling when and where someone can go; perhaps linking these ideas to freedom is an idea.
Quick Fix:
– until (not in till)
– yourself (it’s one word)
– take a moment to reread your post, a couple of sentences are confusing. Use punctuation or reorganize your ideas to make them clearer.
It would be a great idea It would also be more safe on the roads.If you get to close to something it automatically backs off to a safe distance. If you’re sliding off the road it goes back on the road. And if you’re leaning off the side of a cliff it well turn back from it. It also allows people with disability’ s like people who are blind the ability to drive again. Thats why its a good idea to have self driving cars on the road.
Great job to open with a big idea then support it with relevant details. Try not to add a new detail to the paragraph that is not related to the big idea. Mention people with disabilities (not disability’s) in a new paragraph.
Quick Fix:
– that + is = that’s
– more safe = safer
– it ‘well’ turn back (use ‘will’)
I think self-driving cars would be great for people with disabilaties because they have physical limitations. Especially the eldery because some are blind or deaf and they just can’t drive. It would also decrease in car accidents and there would be less traffic or it would speed up traffic. People could do other things while their car is driving like read a book, do homework or sleep. Just think, younger kids going to places by themselvs in their self-driving cars. Parents would not have to drive their kids to sports, school or to their friends house. Think of all the time you could save with your self-driving car. You woulden’t get a speeding ticket because your car is going the right speed and no more drinking and driving.
Your response provides many great supporting details. Can you connect the ideas to a larger theme such as safety, accessibility, or multitasking? Start with, “Self-driving cars would be great because they give access to people who cannot drive. First, people with disabilities….Second, elderly people…Finally, kids….”
Quick Fix:
– would + not = wouldn’t
Smart cars are not a good idea, because if the computer that controls the smart car makes an error then th car is most likely to crash. Plus any one could drive it which is not a good thing, people may think it is, but I bet that those people don’t think of the danger that a little kid could come into if one of them just hopped in the car and started driving. So once again smart cars are not a good technology, and that thought won’t change.
Your opening sentence is a great idea to mention! The next step is to provide more reasons. What are the supporting details? Rather than support the big idea related to computer problems (power, virus, hackers…) you switch from your big idea to one about young people. Stay on topic, the issue of young drivers would be for another paragraph in a multi paragraph essay.
It would be better if there where self driving cars because if you where blind it would give you a opportunity to travel. The children may have sports or activates but there parents don’t want to drive after work. Thats way there should send out self driving cars
You provide some terrific supporting details, but your big idea is missing. Rather than opening with an idea about blind people, state that self driving cars would allow all people regardless of age or ability to travel. Use blind people and children as your supporting details.
Quick Fix:
– their/there/they’re (click the link for some practice)
its pretty sick to have car that drives by your self that would be classy if they were alowlled in canada
Your response needs more detailed information.
Please develop your paragraph and avoid slang. Rather than ‘its pretty sick to have cars…’ say ‘Self driving cars are awesome/amazing/stupendous… Now explain why they are awesome using 2 or 3 reasons. Please add to your response and resubmit your post.
it is a bad idea because all the cars all the traffic jams :() . thats why its a bad idea and how it will KILL environment. think all the road kill deer moose and cats and dogs i would hate that so SAY NO TO SELF DRIVING CARS
Start with one big idea rather than several, then support the big idea with details. If your big idea is traffic jams, you need to support your argument (more cars on the roads, not enough road space or parking…). Simply putting ideas related to the topic together is not a developed paragraph.
If we had self driving cars it would be so much funner then it is today because kids could drive any where they want.And if kids could drive then our parents wouldn’t have to drive them anywhere so life would be easier then it is today.Also if kids could drive then parents wouldn’t be rushing around all the time to get their kids places.Kids could drive them selves to school or to the mall anywhere they want or need to go.
There are many superb supporting details here, but the big idea is unknown. You mention fun for kids and less work for parents. Try opening with something about improving the lifestyles for everyone.
Quick Fix:
– When typing, add a space after a period.
– use more fun (rather than much funner)
– When making a comparison, use the word ‘than’ (more fun than…)
It would be great to have a self driving car because they reduce traffic accidents. It would also save your life in-case you fell asleep. If you had a self driving car you could take a call if some one called you or texted you. Also you could drive all through the night while sleeping. That is why we all have self driving cars.
You have some excellent supporting details! The next step is to link the ideas to a major theme, in this case: safety.
Yea because self driving cars can drive by there self and they are sometimes for blind people and you don’t have to drive the car because it does it for you it can be really easy to get places you can go to places when ever you want you can go in the daytime u also can go at night.
You make some great points – well done! What is the big idea of your paragraph. It seems like you are trying to say self driving cars will let anyone drive.
Quick Fix:
– use ‘you’ rather than ‘u’ when doing schoolwork
The government should not legalize self-driving cars in Canada. Just think of all the pollution in the air! This country would be a disaster if they did that! All the beauty of Canada’s vast wilderness will be destroyed for new roads for all of the traffic, playgrounds at schools taken down to built a bigger parking lot. Plus,did everyone even think about what would happen if the computer in the car suddenly stopped working while driving 50 mph on the highway? Or how much gas would cost to fill the tank every two days? This is not an option I would pick, even if the cars do prevent car crashes nation wide. The government has to see both sides of the story, weigh all the options,and see over all problems and possibilities before deciding anything.
The first half of your paragraph is related to Canada’s environment, be sure to mention this as a big idea. Your supporting details are insightful and interesting – well done! Then, the paragraph takes a turn to computer issues, gas prices, accidents and politics. These ideas would work well in a multi paragraph essay rather than in a single paragraph.