Hi Class!
Are you in favour of or opposed to the planned changes to mail delivery in Canada?
Post your reaction to the proposed changes to the way Canada Post operates. You are expected to write a convincing paragraph using details from the text and your own ideas. A great paragraph has:
- a strong opening sentence with a big idea
- at least three sentences supporting the big idea with details from the text, class discussions and your own thoughts
- a powerful concluding sentence to convince the reader your viewpoint is correct
Your reply to this thread is due Wednesday, March 12.
Canada post must make changes to how they run business because we are in major debt. First of all Canada is in debt for about 700 billion dollars and the government is trying to find a way to get out of debt. Secondly, one way Canada is going to get out of debt is is taking out all of the mail boxes right out side of many peoples houses, the reason is because they are losing money paying people to bring the mail to the individual houses, they are going to put many bigger mail boxes in all central places. The community mail boxes would save money because the government would not have to pay people to bring there mail to individual houses. Finally, Canadas debt is really high and is getting higher by the second, if we don’t make any changes we are never getting out of debt! Thank you for reading my paragraph and I hope that I convinced you that what there doing is good and there trying to help us.
Thanks Aliya for your detailed argument about saving money by making changes to mail delivery – well done! Do you think these changes will make a big impact in reducing Canada’s debt?
Quick Fixes:
– the debt belonging to Canada = Canada’s debt
– mail belonging to them = their mail
– they are doing a good job = they’re
thanks
Canada Post should not make changes in delivering mail because, with the community mail boxes it will be harder to get your mail. Secondly, if you have t drive to get your mail it will pollute the air. Third, seniors may have troubles getting their mail if they don’t drive. Also, if you are injured or need help the mailman might not know and think you just haven’t had time to pick up your mail. Furthermore, workers who work for Canada Post might be out of work because they don’t need as many mailmen. Finally, the price for stamps are raising so some people might not want to pay that much and just not send a letter. For those reasons Canada Post should not make changes in delivering mail.
Thanks for your paragraph Sarah, you have provided many supporting details against the changes. What BIG IDEA do your details connect to? Right now, your first sentence says it will be harder to get your mail, though the rest of the writing is not entirely connected to it. Your concluding sentence is terrific – but be sure to add a comma after the dependent clause (For those reasons, Canada Post…).
Canada Post tries to make things better but actually will make things worse.
Firstly, lots of people mistakenly take other peoples mail. This could
lead to fraud. Secondly, if those Super Mailboxes were to come in to use
Canada Post would cut 1,500 employees. In addition, it can affect
elderly peoples health. Many can’t get out because the roads might be
slippery and some could have disabilities. Finally, when people drive to
the mailboxes there will be more fumes which will cause a lot more pollution.
In conclusion, it is more convenient for a mailman to come to your house.
Thanks Beau, you’ve written a very convincing paragraph – well done! Your big idea is interesting, and you’ve done a very good job providing some details about the improvements and impacts if the reader is not aware of the changes. Can you clarify your first point about taking mail by mistake – is it caused by the current system or will it happen more frequently due to the super boxes?
I am against the idea of taking away household mail boxes and replacing them with a mail box for everyone to share because it can be very annoying. First of all, if it is right in front of your house there will be papers all over in the front yard because the people will just throw the papers that they don’t want on the ground. Secondly, if a really loud car or truck comes by in the middle of the night after work and the mail box is right outside of your yard it will wake you up.Also, if you live further away it will take up more of your time. Lastly, if a vandal tries to pick the lock he can jam it and you won’t be able to get the mail.
Thanks for your thoughts Seth, this is some of your best writing so far this year! You’ve made a clear opening statement with a big idea and have supported it with four great reasons. The one missing piece is a strong concluding sentence to sum up your argument. What final thought can you leave the reader with that restates your big idea?
Canada Post is removing the door delivery service, and replacing it with community mailboxes, saving millions of dollars for the failing company. For seniors especially, it will be difficult to make it to the mailboxes, adding a chance of personal injury for the old fellows. Although making it difficult to make it to the mailboxes for some, exercise is commonly needed for most citizens around Canada. Also most citizens will find it hard to connect with their fellow neighbours, but at these mailboxes you may encounter your neighbours picking up their mail. In conclusion Canada Post is saving money and a service is needed in Canada so I support this move greatly.
Thanks for your crafty words Sam! You provide many great reasons to make the changes and add some insightful benefits too! One thing to add in your opening is a clear stance on the issue, similar to what you have in your concluding sentence.
The changes must not happen because many people and citizens enjoy having their mail sent to their homes. Firstly, it is much more private for people to receive their mail when they can walk out their door and grab it. Secondly, if someone was to pick the locks then they could have your private information and even money. Additionally, many mail men/woman would lose their jobs. Furthermore, to send mail it would cost more and when you send it the mail goes to Vancouver then back again. Lastly, many people will start to forget to pick up their mail which waist trees. There must not be any changes made to our mailing service.
Well done Alexa! How much more are you willing to pay to keep the service as it is?
This is a horrific idea because single mailboxes are much safer than group boxes. If you just got all of the single mailboxes installed into doors no one can steal it. If Canada Post changed it then people would have to either walk or drive to get the mail although it creates exercise it’s harder for the disabled. As well as it would take longer to get it rather than walking to your front door or the end of your drive way. Group mailboxes have a bigger chance of getting vandalized too. If one person were to get a hold of the key that can unlock all of the mailboxes he could potentially take every ones mail which could be filled with checks, bills and other important items. Overall this is a crazy idea because of safety issues.
Nicely said Gabby! In complex sentences, remember to add a comma after the dependent clause:
If Canada Post changed it, then…
Canada Post must not make the mial go to the big neighbourhood mailboxes because it is an inconveinents for everyone. Firstly the big mail boxes would be an eye sore and whoever had it in front of their house would have people trashing their yards with junk mail and trash also it bring the cost of the house down substantially. Although it is less money for Canada Post, it makes peope who liked the house to house delivery mad and annoyed. While the people drive to get their mail, they are polluting because they have to drive to get the mail and they leave their carsidling. Furthermore Canada Post must not make the mail go to the big mail boxes for the reasons I exclaimed also for the reason that it is extremly inconveinent.
Thanks Matthew for your post, you have some great arguments. Be careful not to extend a sentence with too many ideas. Use punctuation and reword:
Firstly, the big mail boxes would be an eye sore and whoever had it in front of their house would have people trashing their yards with junk mail and trash. In addition, it would bring the value of the house down substantially.
You are doing great to add transition words to connect your sentences. When using ‘furthermore’ it means you are adding another thought or idea to something you’ve previously mentioned and does not make sense to use for your concluding sentence. Instead, try using: all things considered, in conclusion, on the whole, in summary, in the final analysis, to sum up, or to summarize.
I’m against Canada Post taking away mailboxes, the reason for this is that it will will just create a daily hassle and un-necesarry issues. First, It’s easier to get your mail. Secondly, If the big mailbox was broken into, you would lose lots off personal information. Third, there are many senior citizens that have disabilities, if they have to walk around so much JUST to get mail, we could affect their health. Although this will benefit a lot of people, I think we should just leave everything as it is. Also, since Canada is in so much debt, would’nt it cost more to place random boxes everywhere? If Canada ever wants to get out of debt, the government should really stop trying to make so many changes. Over all I just think it would be more comfortable if it just came to your doorstep.
Thanks for your arguments Gurisha. You provide many reasons supporting your case and present them in an organized manner by using transition words – well done! Can you think of a way to write your opening statement and your other arguments without using I statements? What sounds more powerful:
I’m against Canada Post taking away mailboxes, the reason for this is that it will will just create a daily hassle and unnecesarry issues.
or
Should Canada Post take away mailboxes, chaos will erupt!
Quick Fix:
– would not = wouldn’t (the letter t is alone in contractions)
I am opposed to it because there are so many bad things about it and not so many good thhings. Its mor elikely that your mil would get stollen then itwould if it was delivered to your own house. It’s going to take longer for mail to get delivered because they have to take it to Vancouver first and then they would bring it back to your city. It is going to cost more for stamps and lots of people can’t afford to do that. When they have the community mail boxes it is innconvenient for people because it could mess up their schedual and then they would have to change their rutine beause of one mail box. For people who are older it would be hard for them to get to it in the winter especiallyif it’s icy. When people are disabled then it is harder for them to get anywhere. Even though i may not be infront of yuor house it might be far waay so if your a really buisey person you wouldn’t have toime to pick up your mail if it’s not close to your house. If it was in your yard it would be a big problem because if someone does night shifts and picks up their mail before the go home earli in the morning their car would wake you up and it would disturb your sleep. If people got allot of junk mail then you would have tons of gatrbage in your yard because people usually throw away their junk mail. This is just some of the bad things.
Thanks Serena – it seems like your spell check is turned off. You’ve provided many good arguments. To make the paragraph flow more smoothly, add transition words (click the link for some examples). Lastly, remember to use a comma after a dependent clause:
For people who are older it would be hard for them to get to it in the winter. (A comma is needed after the word older.)
Canada posts change from mail delivery to mail storage is a good thing. Here are some supporting reasons. First some people are obese because of no exersize, having this superbox a block away would be good to start them exersizing. Second its harder for robbers to rob you unless you kept a lock on your previous mailbox. Likewise there are people you meat that you didn’t know before and you could make friends. Fourth the govournment it in the profit line which is from 700 to 900 million dollars. That in turn means less taxes for you to pay. Last this will help Canada pay off its dept and intrest. Thanks for your time I hope you’re now really and truly convinced that its agood idea and profit the govournment and us.
Thanks for your detailed and sequenced paragraph – well done! Be sure to add a comma after first, second, likewise…
Quick Fix:
– change belonging to Canada Post = Canada Post’s change
– it is = it’s
– meat (from an animal); meet (encounter)
Canada post wants to change the mail delivery programs but I say no because I wouldn’t like to change what I do every day. it may cost less but more people will lost there jobs because of this. it would impact meany people in there lives and what if they put a big box in front of your house. It would put the price lower on your home and it would be harder to sell. so I say no don’t change the delivery proses
Thanks for your post Tyler. You’ve made a good opening position about changing your daily routine. This said, your supporting details do not match up with your big idea. Explain how your routine will change for the worse. The supporting details you’ve listed are good, but you need to connect them to a big idea.
I think it’s a bad change. Canada post has been delivering door to door for years and I think it should stay the same. First, Your mail has the risk of being stolen because all your mail is kept inside a little box along with others, If someone were to get a hold of the master key your mail would be gone. Second, You would have to take time out of your daily schedule to go pick up your mail. Third, Your delivery would become a lot slower because you would personally have to go pick up your mail and when you send something it has to be driven to Vancouver to get sorted. Next, when you want to mail a letter the prices will rise because Canada post will have to make money some how to keep them in business. Lastly, if the community mail box was placed on your property people would invade your privacy. Overall I think that if Canada post sticks to delivering door to door everyone would benefit.
Thanks for your thoughtfully planned argument Kiira – well done! Keep in mind that the super box are all locked with unique keys, so your mailbox is not combined with others.
I’m against public mail boxes because it could be in front of your house and all the people in the neighbourhood will be in front of your house with annoying cars and garbage all around your house. it’s risky for some people some body could get hurt trying to get their mail. It might be far away for some people. your mail could be stolen, some one could break the mail box open and take it all. If they did take away home mail boxes a lot of people would have no jobs.
Thanks for your post Damien! You’ve stated many reasons to support your opinion – well done! The next step is to connect them to a big idea. What is one idea that connects the location of the super box, the traffic, injuries, theft and jobs? Perhaps you could say:
I’m against public mail boxes because there are several negative effects impacting many people.
No one should get communitys boxes becaues the changes will upset millions! The reson being just for one stamp it will cost a wholl daller,but not only that just to send it across town it will take 3 to 4 bissnes days! Thats outragess! Second who ever you send it to will have to take time out of there day to go and get mail opposded to just reaching out side. There is so much wrong with that, such as if it was put infront of your house peaple might throw the stuff the dont want on your lawn of have loud vehicles come by at vareus time of the day. I have much more to say but that wraps most of why I dont like the changes!
Thanks Brendan, it seems like your spell check was turned off too. Take a moment to reread your work regardless if the spell check is working, you will usually find something to fix.
Your big idea is great and you support it with relevant examples. One improvement is when you say, “There is so much wrong with that…” then only provide one example, it leaves the reader confused. Use a different opening or provide more examples. Finally, your concluding sentence does not add value to your argument. If you have more to say, say it. Never argue that you have more to say unless you are planning to share it.
Changing Canada Post is a bad idea because this may cause mugging to be more easy, when you’re far from your house or even across the street, and most people comforted by the idea of personal delivery. Some of the higher risks of this all in one, far away and street way cross mail box is that childeren have a high possibility of getting hit by cars, the same goes for seniors. What about all the romance movies where the two main chararcters meet at the girls mail box, that will no longer make sense. So I leave thinking know should we really get rid of the personal delivery? Ask your self that.
Thanks for your post Madison. Your opening sentence talks about mugging. This is too specific because your supporting details do not all connect to the mugging topic. Perhaps using an opening sentence like:
“There are many dangerous things that could happen when everyone uses a group mailbox.” This big idea can then be supported by all of your arguments (except for the romance movie one).
Making changes to Canada Post will be bad, even though none of these changes will affect me since I already go to a community mailbox. There are many disadvantages to it, one of them being some of the mailmen will get laid back. Also, it’ll be harder for elders, and people who have disabilities. Thirdly, having everybody go to community mailboxes will make it easier for criminal activity because they could pick the locks. Lastly, the people who drive to get the mail instead of walk will pollute the earth even more. That is why it’s a bad idea, and Canada Post shouldn’t be making these changes anytime soon.
Well said Asia – thanks for your post! Your opening and closing sentences are terrific, and you support your big idea with several reasons – well done! One improvement is to extend your argument beyond the immediate result. For example you can can add that when the mail carriers are laid off, they will possibly collect employment insurance. This means that the savings Canada Post makes will be spent by another branch of the government. What could you add to the detail about seniors and people with disabilities?
I’m against because what if they move the other mall box’s then people have to. Go so far just because they stop the mail delivery business. Also what if people start pick the locks and steal your mail how will you pay your bills. When they stop the mail delivery business and the old people start walking to there mail box and they trip and fall and hurt them self really bad then they can’t get there mail. And it cost a lot more money to move the mail box’s to a good area and what if it. Cost money also that’s why it’s a bad idea to stop the mail delivery business.
Thanks for your post Kobe. You ask many good questions and this is a great way to develop an argument. Remember to use a question mark when punctuating a question.
Please reread your writing as it is confusing to follow in some places. For example, why did you put a period after “then people have to.” ?
Quick Fixes:
– their (belongs to them); their mail
– 1 box, 2 boxes (do not use an apostrophe to make a plural noun)
Canada post is removing the door delivery service. Canada post is going to put community mailboxes on a main street near your house. Meny people are not liking this idea because the people will have to take the time out of there day to go and pick up the mail from the community mail box. people are disagreeing to this mail idea
Thanks TJ for your post. You’ve retold some of the details, but haven’t clearly stated your position on the issue. Is a good idea or a bad one? Please take the time to put together a convincing paragraph:
1st sentence – a clear opening with a big idea
2nd, 3rd, 4th sentences – details supporting your big idea
5th sentence – a conclusion to sum up your argument and leave the reader thinking about what you’ve said
These changes are a bad idea. If people were to go to their mail box in icy conditions and fall because they don’t have a mail box in front of their house it would be terrible. Having a group mail box is bad people could jump you and steal you mail when you are getting it. Older people could really get hurt if they fell down on the pavement. This is a very bad idea it might cut money but will make people spend more, they will lose more money then they get it. If Canada post does this it will put people out of their jobs and it will effect the community a lot more then the boxes.
Thanks for your post Cale, you provide many great reasons to support your point of view. One way to improve your writing is to use transition words to connect your sentences:
“These changes are a bad idea for several reasons. First, if people….Another negative outcome is bad people…Likewise, older people…Finally, …
Quick Fix:
– effect is usually a noun (The movie had great computer generated effects.)
– affect is usually a verb (People losing jobs will affect the community.)
The Canada post is making some bad decisions even though it is to save their entire company they may be sealing there fate of doom. First they are upping the prices and that will be an inconvenience to any one who sends mail. Second they are taking longer to send messages that to will also be a problem if the message is important. Third it will be delivered to a mailbox further away from households and seniors and people with disabilities because they would have to be more reliant on other people. Fourth they only store letters and people could steal letters easier then before. Fourth they will need to fire a lot of people just so that this plan can even work and those people may have to find new jobs. Finally this plan of there’s could cause havoc because maybe not as many people might send letters now and then they will have cut back even further. After that there plan doesn’t really seem that great.
Thanks Garet for your detailed post! You have raised many important points and you’ve done a good job linking your sentences with transition words. One thing, be sure to add a comma after a transition word: First, _____. Second, _____. Finally, you’ve used some outstanding vocabulary such as fate, havoc, and reliant – nicely done!
Quick Fix:
– you’ve used ‘fourth’ twice
– there, their, they’re
– the fate belong to them = their fate
– the plan belonging to them = their plan
I believe thats the changes to Canada Post is perfectly fine, and there are many good things about it like you could get more exercise by bringing your animal on a walk. Another reason is that it is very hard to pick locks on the community boxes. Furthermore, when you are at the mails boxes you can happen to run into new people and become friends.
Thanks for your thoughts Mariah! You raised several points to support your opinion. One thing to add is a strong conclusion to sum up your point of view.
Quick Fix:
– Watch the subject – verb agreement: the changes are; the change is